Katreena L. Scott and Claire V. Crooks noted that, despite the fact that some fathers are perpetrators of child maltreatment, very little research has been done on abusive fathers. According to the authors, for intervention services to be effective, it is important to know the characteristics of abusive fathers ("Effecting Change in Maltreating Fathers: Critical Principles for Intervention Planning,"
Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, vol. 11, no. 1, Spring 2004). Abusive fathers tend to be very controlling of their children. Being self-centered, they demand respect and unconditional love. They are insecure and are constantly looking for signs of defiance or disrespect. An abusive father may feel that a child has more power than he does and may misinterpret a child's action as misbehavior. He therefore inflicts physical abuse to regain control. An abusive father has a sense of entitlement, expecting his children to do as he says. Scott and Crooks pointed out that sexual abuse may result from the father's sense of entitlement.
An abusive father's involvement with his children is usually based on his own needs, focusing on activities that he likes instead of what the children may want to do. However, his interest in his children may come and go, depending on his emotional state. Some fathers maltreat their children because they believe in the stereotypical role of fathers as disciplinarians. Some also feel that they have to show others that they are doing a good job as parents. Refusing to acknowledge that they may be having a tough time as parents, they take out their frustrations on the children.
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2 months ago
laura a » laurared dot marko ((at)) yahoo dot com
when i was younger my father was abusive to me in every way. i was very fearful of him. he sexual, physical, emotionally, and spirtiually abused me. the sexual abuse stopped when i was 12. after that year he would at times try to sexual abuse me. he still did all the other abuse to me. i felt like he looked at me like a girlfriend to him. he was very controlling and always wanted things his way. he never let me have friends or have fun. he was very snoopy with my room, ect.. on that part. he needed to know everything about me and about what i was doing. when i would be out he would find ways to find out what i was doing when i did have the chance to be out and about. he once made a bet with my older brother i would get pregnant at the age of 15. that never did happen. its like he wanted me to turn out to do bad things just so he could find ways to hurt me.
finally when i was 15 i confronted him on what he did, reported him to the police and family services. he got my whole family against me. and hated me. i went into foster care and did well then. now i am a mother and married i have found that having the lord in my heart has changed me and i know for sure that i just will not be like that being jesus has shown me unconditional love. i use my past now to tell others about it that its not a shame what i went through. i can help others that have been in the same spot or kinda in the same spot
8 months ago
Steven Scott Shell » sssjr dot ((at)) triad dot rr dot com
I am a forty year old man.I was raised in a pretty decent middle class home drug and alcohol free.My father was in law enforcment and had a "higher power"attitude.He was in charge and I witnessed him beat several men including family members.I was afraid of him then and still resent his know it all attitude.I am drug free,I rarely drink except maybe a social drink.I worked for him for twenty two years in bailbonding.He told me I was to give up custody of my now eleven year old in exchange for my job.I did so thru signing a custody agreement.He has influence thru local judges and the sherrif.Guess what after signing he fired me.Now I must de[end on them to support my lifestyle.A new job would mean to give up everything I know.He say's he see's things in my eye's,malarchy!What can I do?He buys my son things I can not dream about affording,if I say anything he threatens me physically.I am willing to take any lie detector test as his law enforcment friends have even broke into current and DECEASED friends houses and threatened them.I have notified the f.b.i. as well as the d.o.j.To no avail.Trapped in davidson county N.C.Let me add,in 04 I was found guilty of a dui.I had .04 yes,.04 alcohol in my system.The judge cleared the court room at 2:30 in the afternoon,I left court at almost ten p.m. that night.No prior convictions since a teen and NO trouble since as I am afraid to move.Help me get my life back please.
10 months ago
Poet
Behaviors like this are easy to pick up from your parents and transfer to your own children. Probably the best way to avoid these reactions is to study parenting. Learn parenting techniques such as never saying 'no' or 'don't do this' to a child. Instead, instruct them positively. Tell them only the things that they CAN do. Such as if a child asks or is found jumping on their bed, stop them by using their name to get their attention and sometimes you may need to physically intervene and pull a child off the bed. The important part is making sure you say in no uncertain terms: 'You can lay on the bed, or you can make the bed.' Giving them a choice is always important. If they bring up jumping on the bed, simply re-iterate while looking them in the eye. Saying 'don't jump on the bed' is like forcing their brain to focus on jumping on the bed. They can hardly do anything BUT jump on the bed at that point. And the same applies to all activities. Practice using these kinds of techniques and you will quickly accumulate an arsenal of methods for dealing with misbehavior that are easier and more instructive than anger or abuse.
11 months ago
jessica » bad_biyatch23 ((at)) yahoo dot com
when i was a kid my dad use 2 hit me and my brother alot. my younger sister was never hit, but my dad would find every reason 2 hit my brother and i. now iam 23 yrs old and i have a 3 yr old and i find myself yelling at him for doing something really small. Iam angry alot and always emotional.. so is my brother.. i really want help bc i dont want 2 act like that towards my son.