Causes and Effects of Child Abuse - Abusive Siblings

In What Parents Need to Know about Sibling Abuse: Breaking the Cycle of Violence (Springville, UT: Bonneville Books, 2002), Vernon R. Wiehe explored the reasons why siblings hurt each other. Sibling abuse may stem from a desire to control another person in order to take advantage of that person. The sibling in control typically does not know how to empathize (be aware and sensitive to the feelings of others). Wiehe noted that the reason most often given for sibling abuse is that an older sibling has been put in charge of younger siblings. Some parents may expect too much from older children, relegating parental responsibilities to them. Some children are too young to assume a parental role and may take out their frustration on younger siblings. Even if an older brother or sister is capable of babysitting their younger siblings, they lack the knowledge or skills to parent.

Wiehe pointed out that sibling abuse may be a learned behavior. Children who grow up in households where they see their parents abusing each other or are the recipients of such abuse may in turn use aggression toward one another. Children also learn abusive behavior from television programs, movies, videos, and computer games.

In "Sibling Abuse" (Understanding Family Violence, Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, Inc., 1998), Wiehe observed that abusive behavior between brothers and sisters is often considered sibling rivalry and is therefore not covered under mandatory reporting of abuse. The author conducted a nationwide survey of survivors of sibling abuse who had sought professional counseling for problems resulting from physical, emotional, and sexual abuse by a brother or sister.

The respondents were generally victims of more than one type of abuse: 71% reported being physically, emotionally, and sexually abused. An additional 7% indicated being just emotionally abused, pushing the total of emotionally abused victims to 78%. Emotional abuse took the forms of "name-calling, ridicule, degradation, exacerbating a fear, destroying personal possessions, and torturing or destroying a pet."

As far as the victims of sibling incest could remember, they were sexually abused at ages five to seven. The author, however, believed it was possible that the abuse started at an earlier age. The perpetrator was often a sibling older by three to ten years. The incest generally occurred over an extended period.

Effects of Sibling Abuse

In What Parents Need to Know about Sibling Abuse, Wiehe enumerated the effects of sibling abuse based on his interviews with survivors of such abuse:

• Poor self-esteem—Survivors indicated feelings of worthlessness and a lack of self-confidence. Those who experienced sexual abuse felt guilt and shame for their childhood victimization.
• Problems in relationships with the opposite sex—Women who had been sexually abused by their brothers reported problems with forming intimate relationships with men. They were suspicious and distrustful of men. Some had never married. Many continued to blame themselves for not having stopped the abuse.
• Difficulty with interpersonal relationships—Some survivors said they tried too hard to please others. Although they feared expressing anger and feared others' anger, they constantly lived with rage toward the sibling-perpetrators and their parents who responded inappropriately to the abuse.
• Revictimization—Because of their low self-esteem, survivors were likely to put themselves in a position of abuse as adults.
• Eating disorders, alcoholism, and drug abuse.
• Depression and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)—Some survivors experienced severe depression to the point of contemplating and attempting suicide. Survivors reported PTSD symptoms, including anxiety attacks and reliving the experience of the abuse.